The art of losing
by bookworm324
Summary: This takes place after The Reckoning. While tracking down the kids on the list that Chloe stole from the Edison Group, and trying to escape detection, something tragic happens. Something that will change the lives of our heroes yet again.
1. Chapter 1

They were running again. It seemed as if they were always running these days and Simon was tired of it. Whether it was the Cabals or the Edison Group, there was always something to run from. Not that he minded; growing up moving from town to town had prepared him for this. At least he and Derek had their Dad back. At least Derek had finally found someone who could see him for who he really was. At least they were happier now than they ever were before.

But just a while ago, Derek had come into Simon's room to tell him that their Dad thought it would be best if they moved again. Simon had nodded thoughtfully, because he knew they would be leaving soon. They'd already spent a year here in Chicago, which was the longest time they'd ever spent in one place since they'd been reunited. Chloe and Tori had barged into Simon's room then, to inform them that the next person on the list lived in Pennsylvania, so they were making a quick stop there before moving on to the next town.

Now, they were all there, sitting in Simon's room in a slightly uncomfortable silence. It seemed as if they didn't know what to say to each other now that they didn't have to worry about their safety all the time. Simon didn't know how to break the awkwardness and it bothered him for some reason. They had all changed so much.

Before the silence could become too suffocating, the doorbell rang. Simon shot his brother a confused look and followed Derek down the stairs, Tori and Chloe right behind him. At the bottom, they were met by their Dad and Chloe's aunt Lauren, who also looked confused and a little worried. A strange feeling crept up Simon's spine; a feeling of discomfort and dread. Something bad was going to happen, he just knew it.

"Were any of you expecting anyone?" his father asked. Simon shook his head worriedly, if no one invited anyone to come over today, then who was at the door?

His Dad ran a hand through his hair as the doorbell rang again, echoing throughout the house. Simon bit his lip as his Dad gestured for them to move to the left, so that they would be out of sight when he opened the door. Derek stood behind their Dad, ready to attack whoever was on the other side if they proved to be a threat.

As the door swung open, Simon felt his heart speed up, time seeming to slow down. Beside him, Tori had a spell ready to go in case something went wrong and Simon leaned forward, ready to cast. That's when the chaos began.

Derek pushed their father behind him, away from the door and then he fell down, bleeding. Simon didn't understand what had happened until Tori pulled the door completely open and he saw a middle aged man on the other side, holding a gun, a silencer already in place. Immediately, all the breath left him, and he barely registered Tori's spell hitting the man right in the chest. All he could think about was the gun in the stranger's hand and his brother lying on the floor in a pool of blood. Lauren was working on him, trying to save his life, but Simon wasn't sure if his brother had a chance.

His Dad moved into his line of sight with a rope, tying up the stranger with a gun, and dragging him in, closing the door. Simon noticed how shaky his Dad looked, how scared, and that only served to terrify him more. He couldn't lose his brother, he just couldn't.

Suddenly, Simon seemed to remember Chloe, who was standing beside him. He had enough presence of mind left to wonder why she hadn't screamed or cried or even made a sound this whole time. Logically, Simon knew he should look at her and ask her if she was alright, but he just couldn't bring himself to turn away from the tragic scene that was his brother. He was rooted to the spot in terror as Lauren performed CPR, trying to restart Derek's heart.

In his peripheral vision, Simon could see the stranger lying on the floor; Tori's spell having knocked him out. Then, his Dad and Tori joined Lauren on the floor by Derek, watching anxiously as she worked to save Derek's life. Simon's stomach seemed to have dropped between his legs as he saw Lauren sit back, shaking her head dejectedly, with tears quietly streaming down her cheeks. Beside him, Chloe let out a whimper, Derek's name slipping past her lips in a quiet whisper.

"What do you see Chloe?" his Dad asked, shakily picking up one of Derek's limp hands and holding on tight. His father's voice was devoid of all emotions but despair, and it scared Simon to see his father so dejected.

"I see…Derek. I-I _see_ him." Chloe responded, horrified. It felt as if she had punched him in the gut. Simon took a shaky step forward and collapsed beside his brother, shaking his head and breathing erratically. He heard Tori gasp and his Dad let out a sob as Chloe seemed to be having a conversation with his brother.

All of a sudden, it was too much for Simon to handle. His brother couldn't be dead, it just wasn't right. Chloe was wrong, she must've been seeing someone else; it was the only logical answer he could come up with. But Chloe kept talking, as if Derek was awake, as if he was right there with them, and Simon didn't want to hear it anymore.

"No! No no no. No. Derek, Derek. You can't leave me here Derek. You can't just go and _die_ on us! No no! Wake up, _wake up_! Derek!" Simon could hear his voice, and he knew it was shaky and a little hysterical but he didn't care. He needed his brother to wake up.

His hands shot out, fisting Derek's shirt and shaking harshly. Somewhere in the back of his mind, Simon knew he was acting irrationally, but none of that mattered now. Not when his brother was laying on the floor in a pool of blood. A pair of arms wrapped around him, holding him in a familiar embrace as his father's voice told him to let go, that his brother was dead. Simon wrenched himself free and scooted closer to Derek

"No no no! I _refuse_ to believe that! No!" Simon heard himself scream as he threw himself onto his brother's body. For what felt like hours, Simon lay there in his brother's blood asking and pleading for Derek to wake up, to come back, but nothing happened. After a while, he got tired and just lay there, chanting one word. Please. Over and over and over again.

Simon couldn't accept the fact that Derek could be dead because accepting it would mean that he'd lost yet another person in his life. Derek was his best friend, and his brother. He was the glue that held their little group together, and without him, Simon didn't know how they would survive. This scene was so reminiscent of his mother's death, that Simon found himself reliving it all over again. Coupled with the fact that Derek seemed to be getting colder under him, and it was just too much.

Waves of despair wracked Simon's body as he cried for his brother to come back to him, yet silently acknowledging that this would never happen. He felt his father wrap an arm around him, placing another on Derek's forehead, their tears mixing with the blood on Derek's chest. The blood on their hands. Derek's blood.

Simon felt as if he was drowning, and there was no left to pull him out of the water. Everyone was too caught up in their own grief to notice Simon's. Then, Lauren was saying they needed to leave before the stranger woke up, and his Dad was agreeing, while stroking Derek's hair gently. With a sob, his father removed his hand from Derek's hair and stood up, leaving Simon lying there, on the floor with his cold brother.

People were rushing around, bringing bags and suitcases from upstairs and disappearing outside, only to come back in for more. Simon couldn't bring himself to let go of his brother, and so he lay there and cried silently. All too soon, his father was back telling him he had to let go, that they had to leave now. But the words didn't make any sense. _Leave? How could they just leave Derek here?_ Then he felt himself being pulled from Derek, his father was pulling him away.

"No. No! Derek! Derek!" Simon screamed hysterically. He needed to get back to his brother. They couldn't leave him here, they just couldn't. Kicking and screaming, he tried to free himself from his father's grip but he was too tired and he had no more energy left to fight. Sagging against his father, he felt a blanket being wrapped around him, before he was placed on the ground.

Simon watched despondently as his father smoothed Derek's hair from his eyes, placing a kiss on his forehead. "Goodbye son. I'm sorry." His father whispered, brokenly. Stretching his arm, Simon was able to hold Derek's hand in his. He squeezed gently before his was ripped away, his father supporting his weight as he was led to the van in the driveway.

After depositing him in the backseat, his father climbed in and pulled him into a fierce hug, both of them still crying silently for all that they had lost in less than a second. Simon fisted his father's shirt in his hands and stared out the window watching the house get smaller and smaller as the van pulled away. In that house laid his brother, cold and unmoving, in a puddle of blood just inches away from the man who killed him. Simon watched as the distance between him and his brother increased as the van spread down the street before rounding a corner, the house disappearing completely, leaving Derek behind.

**Originally, I intended this to be a one shot. Now… Now I don't know. Review?**


	2. Chapter 2

After hours of driving, they finally stopped at a motel but Simon didn't know where they were exactly. He was too tired to care, and too dejected to bother with the details. Seeing Derek like that, so lifeless and empty, had done something to him. It didn't seem real because Derek was always there for him, and in turn, he was always there for Derek. Simon almost expected to wake up from this nightmare in his own bed, with Derek sleeping silently in the room across from his. Completely unharmed. But he knew this couldn't possibly be a dream, as the pain was too real and the looks on everyone's faces confirmed the reality of the situation.

Beside him, his father shook him gently, telling him they had to get out now. Simon just nodded tiredly, letting go of his father's shirt, but he made no move to get out of the van. No one did really. From the front seat, Chloe's quiet sobs could be heard, Simon saw tears on Tori's cheeks, and felt his own slipping down his face. Even his father was crying again and that scared him. Of all the people here, his father was the one who was always kept his cool in tough situations. Never before had Simon seen him cry. Even when his mother had died, his father had never cried in front of him and to see it now was nerve wracking.

Eventually, they made it out of the van and into the motel, where they got two small rooms to sleep in for the night. Considering what had happened only a few hours ago, no one really wanted to talk, and they were all understandably exhausted. Simon only had enough energy to drag his things into the motel room and flop down on the bed. He was asleep before his head hit the pillow.

Simon woke up in a strange room he'd never seen before, confused and alone. He didn't understand how he'd gotten there, and why Derek wasn't with him…. Derek. As if his brother's name was a trigger, the events of last night became clear. _They were going to move soon, someone had rung the doorbell, they had a gun, and there was blood; lots and lots of blood….and Derek. There was Derek on the floor. Dead. _

That's when the grief hit. It felt like a wrecking ball had plowed straight into his chest, blocking off his air supply. Derek was _dead_. His brother and best friend was dead and never coming back. Just like his mother. Simon's breath sped up and his heart pounded in his chest, reminding him of how very much alive he was. The complete opposite of his brother.

Just then, the door to the room opened and his father walked in, his pained expression quickly changing to one of worry when he caught sight of Simon. He watched as his father knelt in front of him, running one hand up and down his arm in a soothing manner. Needing something to ground him, Simon grabbed his father's shirt, trying to get his breathing under control. Eventually, he calmed down and let go of the shirt shakily, earning a small smile of relief from his father.

"Are you okay Simon?" his father asked, Simon nodded slightly and let out another shaky breath before relaxing a little. He didn't understand why he'd reacted like that. Growing up with his father had taught him to remain calm during a crisis and he hadn't hyperventilated like that since his mother died…

Looking at his father now, Simon noticed the worry lines on his forehead and the dark circles under his eyes. Never before had his father ever looked so old or tired; Simon didn't know what to do. If it was anyone else, he would've pulled them into a hug and offered to listen to their problems. But this was his father, the man who was always there for Simon to talk to even when he was being annoying. Now that he felt the need to reverse their roles, Simon was at a loss about what to do to offer comfort. Maybe it was his own grief that was the problem; he couldn't seem to concentrate on anything outside his own mind for too long.

His father's quiet voice broke him out of his reverie. "Alright, well breakfast is in the girls' room." Looking up, Simon shook his head slightly.

"I'm not hungry, Dad."

Shaking his head, his father pulled him up, giving Simon's shoulder a squeeze. "You may not feel like eating, but you need to Simon. It's not good for you to skip meals. I don't want you to get sick, and...after last night, I think we all need to eat something."

Sighing, Simon reluctantly followed his father to the girls' room, where he was handed an apple and a plate of eggs with toast. Sitting down in a chair by the window, Simon nibbled on the toast, staring out at the sun that was just peeking out from behind the trees.

Sunrises used to be a beautiful thing to him. They were something to cherish and enjoy because, to Simon, they used to represent hope, and tranquility. He always felt the most at peace when he was watching the sunrise; however, today he felt nothing but sorrow. It was as if death took all the beauty out of life, leaving only shades of gray behind. Nothing looked beautiful anymore, nothing tasted good anymore, and nothing could ease the suffering anymore.

Looking down at his plate, Simon found it strange how the chains of love and family still bound him to Derek, even though Derek was no longer with him. Derek would've been furious with him if he had skipped breakfast, so here he was, nibbling on a piece of toast for his brother's sake. Even when his brother was no longer in the land of the living.

These chains held him in that chair facing the window, and instilled in him the need to please not only Derek but his father too. Simon realized that he was covered in chains that bound him not only to Derek and his father, but to Tori and Chloe as well. Every decision he made was based on what they thought, and would not only affect him, but their lives as well. And just as his decisions affected them, their decisions would affect him. There was no escaping from the bonds he was ensnared in.

**I'm sorry it's so short but that's all that I could get out this time…. Nothing seemed right after this, so please tell me what you think? Review!**


	3. Chapter 3

Breakfast was finished and Simon was still sitting in that chair looking at the world outside. He marveled at how the world could keep moving even when a huge hole seemed to have formed in his life. Kids to school, adults to work, birds chirping and car horns blaring. If he stayed there long enough, he could almost trick himself into believing that everything was normal and that his brother was still alive. If it wasn't for the ever present grief that always seemed to linger in the corner of his mind ready to cripple him in the most inconvenient moments.

How he wished he could get his brother back! He was a _supernatural_. He lived in the _supernatural_ world! There just had to be a way to bring his brother back! Then, he felt as if he was transported back to the Edison Group headquarters. Derek had just broken in to rescue them with the help of Liz and Tori and Simon had gotten split up from Chloe and Lauren. They'd stumbled into an old room containing just a desk and a computer. Simon could smell the fresh flowers sitting in a vase on the table, and feel the smooth wood under his fingers. While Tori was looking through the computer to try to find any clues that could help them, he was looking through the drawers of the desk.

He remembered finding an old file labeled Celeste Thompson. On the inside was a black and white picture of an attractive girl about his age, but that wasn't the interesting part. No, the most interesting part was the legend it told.

Now, Simon remembered the unbelievable information the file had provided him with and the sense of wonder and fear that had filled him. He'd never told anyone about finding it because, at the time, he'd thought it wasn't right for anyone to have such power. But now…. Now he realized it could be the answer to all his problems.

Returning his attention to the present, Simon could hear Chloe telling someone how much she missed Derek and Tori telling her to shut up because there was no use in whining. However, it seemed Chloe could not or would not stop because she just talked right over Tori. Simon considered telling them about the file he had found but he wasn't sure. With power came unforeseeable consequences but he missed his brother and couldn't stand the thought of not seeing him again.

Simon didn't want to see his father grow old with grief, or Tori bitter with regret and anger. He didn't want to see Chloe close herself off to the rest of the world and he didn't even want to see Lauren battle with the guilt that she hadn't been able to save Derek. With those thoughts in mind, Simon shifted in his chair so that he was facing the rest of the room.

His father was sitting in a chair across from him with Tori beside him and Chloe and Lauren on the bed. They were all beaten down with grief and Simon felt the sudden compulsion to tell them, and so he did.

Interrupting Chloe's sentence about missing Derek, Simon sighed and said in a quiet voice. "I miss him too."

"Of course you do. We all do. He'd only…." Tori's irritated voice trailed off, the unspoken words hanging in the air, adding despair to the already tense atmosphere. _He'd only died yesterday._

"But he's….gone. And there's no way to bring back the dead. We just have to do the best we can to deal with it. It'll get easier eventually." Lauren interjected. Simon saw Chloe flinch and his father moved his chair closer so that he could squeeze both Simon and Tori's hands gently. Lauren had just said the word everyone had been so desperately avoiding. Silence reigned for a moment before Simon's quiet voice filled the room.

"There is. A way to bring him back." Another silence seemed to follow his statement and Simon could feel the disbelief everyone else was feeling. Then, the dam broke.

"What are you talking about Simon? We can't bring him back." Chloe said, despair in her voice.

Tori was watching him closely as if he was a volcano about to explode at any moment. "There's no way to bring Derek back. Absolutely none. You know that."

Shaking his head, Simon gave his worried father's hand a reassuring squeeze. "You're wrong. I know a way. It was in an old file I found while we were captured by the Edison Group. When me and Tori were separated from Chloe and Lauren."

"What? I was with you the whole time!" Tori exclaimed.

"Yes but while you were looking at that computer, I was looking in the drawers and I found a file labeled Celeste Thompson." By now, his father had moved so that he was kneeling in front of Simon's chair, one hand on his knee, the other on the arm of the chair. Simon could see the tension in his father's shoulders and he offered a small, wan smile.

"It was an old file and by now, Celeste Thompson is long dead. Her legend, however, remains."

"Legend? Simon, if this was a legend, I would know about it." His father interrupted. Simon looked at him and shook his head a little.

"No you wouldn't have known because it isn't a very well known story. I'm not sure if it's a legend really because Celeste Thompson definitely existed."

"Well? What's the story?" Tori asked, impatient. Simon looked at his newly discovered half-sister and gave her a tired glare to tell her to be quiet.

"Anyway, the story goes like this. Celeste was a necromancer and she lived in the 1980's or 90's. I can't remember. When she was four, her mother had died during childbirth. Her father had money, so Celeste and her twin brother, Dean, never wanted for anything but their father was never around much, so Celeste and Dean were very close.

"Then, when she was sixteen, Dean was killed in accident. Dean and her father were out hunting when Dean tripped and fell off a cliff. He'd… died instantly." Simon's voice faltered for a bit, this part of the story reminding him of the ever present sorrow. His father squeezed his knee and Simon exhaled shakily before continuing quietly.

"Celeste was devastated. Some say she went crazy with grief for her twin. Her best friend was a witch by the name of Margret Sorenson and Celeste begged her to create a spell that could bring her brother back."

Chloe gasped and Simon felt her stare on him. "But wasn't she a necromancer? She should know there's no way to bring back the dead. The dead are our specialty."

Simon nodded sadly at her. "She was a necromancer but she was insane with grief and would've done anything to get her brother back. Celeste probably thought that with the help of a witch, she'd be able to do it. Legend has it; Margret was a very strong witch."

Looking at his brother's girlfriend, Simon knew Chloe understood where the story was headed. Everyone probably did. Sighing, Simon continued telling the story. "Margret agreed to help her and after two more years, they had created a spell that could be able to bring back the dead but it involved a small ritual and a sacrifice of blood from a necromancer. So they found a cave at the edge of the town and that was where they performed the ritual. The story says that Margret took Celeste's blood and mixed it with soil and a piece of Dean's hair. With the mixture, she made a circle around a mirror they had taken from Celeste's home. The mirror was supposed to be a temporary doorway to the other world, but something went wrong.

"When the spell was cast, the magic seemed to latch onto the mirror, which was becoming more and more transparent until a misty fog could be seen. Since Celeste was a necromancer, she was able to call her brother to her and eventually, he could be seen on the other side of the mirror."

Simon paused as gasps rang through the room. They all knew what was going to happen next but he could still feel all their disbelieving stares boring into him. "As Dean crossed the threshold between the land of the dead and the land of the living, the ground shook. And when Dean had both feet firmly in the land of the living, the walls of the cave began to shake. Celeste, elated about her brother's resurrection, broke the circle of blood and soil to hug him.

"The mirror, however, was still showing that misty fog and Margret realized the doorway hadn't closed like they expected it to, most likely as a result of Celeste breaking the circle. She hastily destroyed the circle and as the cave walls began to shake harder, Celeste, Dean, and Margret ran out, escaping death. No one really knows what happened next. Either the walls stopped shaking when the circle was destroyed or the cave completely collapsed, breaking the mirror in the process.

"Celeste and Dean disappeared after that and no one knows what happened to them. They say the mirror is most likely still standing in that cave; acting as a gateway to the other world. Waiting for the next person to find it." Simon's voice drifted off as the story ended, leaving the room's occupants in stunned silence.

"A mirror to bring back the dead…." His father whispered. Simon nodded slightly.

"It's known as the Mirror of the Dead or sometimes Celeste's mirror. The Edison Group tried to find it, but they couldn't."

"That's what you were reading while I was on the computer…. Why didn't you tell me about it?" Tori asked, sounding outraged. Looking at his half-sister, Simon could see the grief and anger in her posture but there was also a bit of hope there as well. She was thinking the same thing he was.

"At the time, I didn't think it was necessary and escape was number one on my list of priorities." Simon replied.

"If we find this…. If we find the mirror, we could bring Derek back. We could bring him _back_." Chloe said quietly. There was a note of wonder and hope in her voice that was hard to ignore and Simon went to sit beside her, squeezing her hand gently.

"Yes. We could bring him back."

"Then what are we waiting for? Let's go find this mirror!" Tori exclaimed. The atmosphere in the room had lightened somewhat, the tension slowly dissipating, but Simon was waiting for his father to say something.

"Kids, we can't go. We can't find this mirror." His father said in a pained voice.

"Why not! It's our only chance of bringing Derek back!" Chloe demanded angrily. Simon could tell she was determined to bring his brother back and he marveled at how much control love could have over a person.

"Chloe I want my son back just as much as you do, if not more. Don't you think I want to be able to hug him? To hear his voice, watch him laugh at something funny, see him scowl at me when I tell not to worry so much. I want to see him grow and have kids of his own. But he's gone now. He's….dead. And we can't bring him back. No matter what that legend might say." Simon saw his father's hands shaking as he moved to sit in the chair Simon had vacated and it frightened him to see his father on the verge of a breakdown.

Getting up, he went to stand by his father's chair, squeezing his shoulder gently as Tori took his hand in hers. Simon could see the tears in her eyes and felt his own welling up, his surroundings becoming blurry. Glancing at his half-sister, Simon knew she would be there for their father and for him, just as he would be there for her and for their father as well. His father wasn't just his and Derek's anymore. He was Tori's father too.

"But why? This mirror is our chance to bring him back. We have to take it!" Chloe argued, breaking the momentary silence.

"Sweetie, it does no good to mess with things like these. To resurrect the dead can bring about horrible consequences. This kind of magic is extremely dangerous. We shouldn't mess with the laws of nature. Who knows what happened to Celeste, Margret and Dean after the disappeared. They could have died." Lauren interjected. Simon looked at Lauren, noticing that ever present guilt in her features. But that was just the guilt of losing a patient, not someone she loved. She didn't know how it felt.

"I know this magic is dangerous. But I will do anything to get my brother back. No matter the cost."

In his peripheral vision, Simon could see Tori nodding in agreement. "I can't let this go. If there's a way we can get him back, then we're taking it. I'll go crazy sitting here and doing nothing. You don't know what it's like because you never really loved him." There was a sharp intake of breath from Lauren at the venom in Tori's voice and Simon looked at her. He'd never known how much Derek had meant to her. Simon realized that Tori probably saw Derek as an annoying brother of sorts and now that he was gone, she was grieving the loss just as much as he was.

"Kids I know you miss him. I miss him too but it's dangerous to attempt something like this. We don't know what could go wrong or if the mirror is still there. It seems extremely unlikely. Even if it still exists, we don't know where it's located and it could take years to find it." Simon wanted to listen to his father because he knew it was dangerous but his grief seemed to consume him. It was impossible to sit and do nothing when he knew there was a way to bring his brother back. Ignoring that was just…unthinkable.

Looking his father in the eyes, Simon shook his head angrily. "We're going to find that mirror Dad. We're going to get Derek back and neither you nor Lauren can change our minds." Chloe and Tori came to stand on either side of him, presenting a united front.

"If you want to sit here and mope for things you have the power to change, then go ahead but we won't be here." Tori stated confidently.

"We're going, whether you like it or not." Chloe chimed in, looking the adults in the eyes. Simon nodded determinedly. There were going to bring his brother back to the land of the living no matter the cost.

**So there you go! Tell me what you guys think? I'm really curious about what you think about Celeste's story. Does it seem somewhat plausible?**


End file.
